NoCode, I've had that same argument before with my H several times, he insists the OW had nothing to do with our marriage falling apart. I agree with him that the affair may have started b/c our marriage had problems, but going to a MC would have fixed them, while H choosing an affair instead is most likely going to end our marriage.
And who in your relationship is suffering from guilt and shame? Not you, but probably your W, is she were ever to admit it, so she is the one that put the acid in your marriage not you. I guess she is upset b/c you are reminding her of her guilt and shame? That's just a guess; I have a hard time figuring out their minds also!!!! Karen
