Worried I found DB too late

[Virtually_Handsome]

Firm, but flexible. I'm liking that more and more! Works in lots of situations ;), gains respect without being a bitch and keeps one from being a doormat. New mantra for me!

You know, it's better than I thought when I said it! Might be hard to do, but it could really work. I'm cheering for you!

[cw68]

H called tonight to say goodnight to the kids. Per the norm, he was asked, "Do you want to talk to Mom?" and more often than not, he doesn't. Tonight he did. We chatted for a bit, he confirmed that he's coming over for dinner tomorrow night and asked if he could pick anything up for it. I said beer or wine then said that I had to go, DBing by ending the conversation. Not to read too much into it, but I'm wondering if he'll bring wine vs. beer. Beer: casual. Wine: more interesting, there's usually more thought behind it.

All in all, a good day even tho. his email request peeved me. Had a great workout at the gym, lifted some weights and then hit the hot tub in my new bikini. Yep, got a bikini for the first time in eight years. Really makes me feel good, esp. since I'm turning 40 later this year AND H is in super good shape. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

[Virtually_Handsome]

Firm and flexible! It's killing me!

Young lady in a new bikini!

Covering eyes!

[cw68]

hehehe!

[MichelleLT]

Hey. Wanted to stop by and say hi.

Honestly not up on your current stitch, but some things on the first page that really caught my eye. My H and I also had the problem of being too individual...although that was more my "problem", and him depending on me. When I didn't give him all he was looking for, he ended up looking for it somewhere else and finding an OW who is completely co-dependent on him for everything from money to compliments.

We should get together for wine sometimes! If NikB (she's pretty local too) has another wine & cheese party, I will make sure you get the invite.

[Grace_O]

cw,

I like the gym and bikini. Any kind of physical activity always helps me. i thought it was if you can't join them, beat them though....hmmmI may have to rethink this.

[JenInVen]

CW you wouldn't feel too bad in a bikini EVER if you saw some of the women in Venezuela... the more celulite the smaller the bikini (thong even) Not a pretty sight I'm afraid.

Sorry for the visual

Jen

[Virtually_Handsome]

CW you wouldn't feel too bad in a bikini EVER if you saw some of the women in Venezuela... the more celulite the smaller the bikini (thong even) Not a pretty sight I'm afraid.

Sorry for the visual

Jen

Some things really SHOULD be left to the imagination!

[cw68]

I probably could have been wearing a bikini at many points over the past eight years, I just want to look as good as I can in a bathing suit instead of just passing by, makes me more comfortable. Definitely will not be doing the thong thing in public! Then again, I wouldn't have when I was 20 and under 100 pounds, and it's not because I'm modest. Some -- most! -- butts should just be covered!

OK, good DBing tonight. H came over for dinner, with our favorite ale, and we talked about the week the kids are on break. Was happy and upbeat, didn't pursue him. I'm realizing that he does reach out to me on his own, he just doesn't right away. But he did come over to me at the sink while I was peeling potatoes and hug and kiss me. Twice. I did the pleasant greeting, but didn't go over to him, just continued on with what I was doing.

The visit definitely made me happy. My sister, her husband and her son are coming to visit most of that week, with a small break in the middle as they go to Napa/SF. There wasn't any problem figuring out who would stay where/when and H plans on hanging out with us most of the time. To me this is HUGE because my sister and family are not easy. I say this as more than a sister complaining about her sister. My sister is clinically psychotic, is an alcoholic and is on the brink of divorce herself (mostly due to these problems). It would have been easy and more than understandable for H to avoid seeing them, let alone spending a lot of time with them. Instead, he's being part of the family.

Said goodbye to him and all was good. I know I'm doing good DBing because after he left I went up to the closet in our room to look for something. I found an anniversary card from our fifth anniversary, just 2 1/2 years ago. It said, "Our relationship is pretty unusual. I'm pretty, you're unusual." He wrote in it, "OK, maybe it is vice a versa, either way it seems to work... I love you sooooo much, has it really been 5 years? Seems yesterday we were partying at the spot, {where we got married}, ahh what a long strange journey it's been. D/S and much, much more. What else can I say? I love and cherish you. Thanks for being my boo you are strong but supportive, there are great things ahead for us. See you at the 10 year. :)"

And you know what? It didn't make me cry. It didn't make me sad. Wistful, yes. But I have hope that this is really how he feels underneath, that we can get back to this. And if we don't, I know his "I never wanted to get married," "Part of me has been unhappy since we married," and "We aren't well matched" sayings are a crock.

[cw68]

Also, I asked him if he could get a sitter for tomorrow night because there was something I wanted to do since I'm going to be here next Weds and won't be able to attend something. This something was a beer tasting at a new joint in town that I've talking into doing a charity event, with me doing a little PR for them. H asked if it was a paid gig, told him that it was just for the experience and the good of the community. Was nice to have something up my sleeve that he didn't know about.