Thanks - you've said some really helpful stuff. I know it sounds like I've been pushing her out. I think it wasn't quite like that but maybe I'm wrong.
Before she left, W and I did talk about how much pain she is in. We didn't talk about it much, but I acknowledged it. I still don't think I've fully accepted it, but I think you're right - discussing that with her is helping me to let go right now.
You're right - she keeps giving me the answers but I don't fully understand them. She is very independent and I think that, combined with her PhD work, is making her feel trapped. She doesn't want to deal with the realities of living with another person right now. Had I been more supportive of her when this all started, that may have been different, but as it turned out, our failing M was an energy suck and now that's all she can see.
I don't know what happens after the PhD stress. I keep feeling like she's going to crash at some point and that's when she'll realize what it means to be alone and in the process of losing everything we had. But right now she's partitioned it away.
Yes, I need to stop talking so much and telling her what to do. I didn't intend that, but with her being back in the house I lost a lot of my DR techniques. Need to regain those.
