Welcome back, LWB. I ditto what everyone else said...
I read your post a couple times and then saw your signature about the caterpillar becoming a butterfly. Butterflys need space to fly, no doubt about it.
Welcome back! As you can see, we all missed you. I know you're ready to let go, but I'm still sorry to see that he was texting someone on your vacation. Still inconsiderate.
You seem so strong. Your girls are lucky to have you as their mom. You'll be an incredible role model for them.
Need to run. I've been out sick and I'm up to my eye balls in work.
Have a great day.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
H was home last night and all day today because of the weather. I realized today that I actually miss him more when he is right there in front of me. Make sense? He was angry today, venting about our situation, blaming me a lot. It wasn't loud, just venting, but I listened. He is so lost. I will not be strong all the time by myself, but I am going to remain strong in front of him. He needs to move on (at least he thinks so), I will show him I will be fine (I will be!) when he does this.
What a mess, but I just need to step back and breathe (thanks jak, so true). I can do this.
What a mess, but I just need to step back and breathe (thanks jak, so true). I can do this.
lwb- You are right, as jak said, you can do this.
Getting past the hurt is hard and I'm still working on that, but I see things that I no longer want to live with. Realizing that my H has always had a lot more anger than I can live with. He can fly off the handle at a moments notice. I don't want to live with that anymore. I don't want D3 to grow up with that. I don't want to worry if I'll set him off even more. Just a lot of things. I am very, very hurt, but I'm getting a lot closer to being ready to say good-bye and as you said, let the rope drop. At least I think I'm using that analogy in the same manner.
Have a good night lwb and thanks for offering to care for me while sick! You're an absolutely amazing woman.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I don't want D3 to grow up with that. I don't want to worry if I'll set him off even more
Sue, in the past 2 days, H has made D3 cry a lot. It breaks my heart (and his, when he comes out of his anger fog). He will tell her too sternly what to do, she will say "Ok" and walk out of the room, and H will find her crying. She even said today "You hurt my feelings, that's rude to me". I know our (H and mine) day was tense together and this is why this happened. My patience with the kids wears thinner than normal when I am stressed about H, and I am hoping more space from each other heals this for both of us. I don't voice my disapproval to H, he can see the hurt in my face when the girls are upset. He knows what he is doing. We just need to face the music and step up for the kids more.
I know, she called to tell me goodnight, and I heard her little "Hi Mama, night night" and I melted. She is so tough, yet so fragile. Heaven help our kiddos...
