Serial EA/PA WAW/MLC

[BradNL]

root and karen43,

Thanks, W seems to have calmed down on that part again. Had a decent conversation on sunday about her looking for a place to buy once her job situation is sorted out, W was saying how it would be nice if she could find a place in walking distance or even in the same building, so the kids could be with both parents easily... Also was talking about how we can use the time before she moves out to work on debts etc.

Strange how the rational person comes out now and again, and then the alien comes back! Two things, first, she wants to pay for a visa to visit her friends in the UK, 280 euros just for the visa (she has an unwanted nationality). Doesn't include the flights and incidental costs, just the visa! I asked why she just didn't wait until she got her dutch passport, but apparently she isn't doing that for a while again...

And the second, she wants to buy a sleeper couch to put in the study, so its cheaper to buy a sleeper couch than to just keep sleeping in the same bed? I don't chase her around in bed or do any kind of advances, we just sleep in the same bed, so why the need to change it when we can't afford it? I mean I can understand that she might want to do the whole detached, we are seperated etc thing but suddenly now?

Looks like the job W has been interviewed for might come through, will make things a bit simpler if she gets it.

And we have a possible timeframe for when W will move out, a friend of hers parents need a house sitter/sublet from August (yay, S5's birthday present this year will be mommy moving out). W should have moved to permanent staff by then (6 month contract to start) and will be able to get a mortgage to buy an apartment... Without having to go through the social housing stuff we avoid the whole custody issue and can go ahead with the co-parenting, much nicer for everyone.

Other things from sunday... W saying that we aren't splitting screaming and fighting, we will have to remain friends of some kind for years. Wasn't too happy to hear the "we just grew apart" rationalisation from W about why we are divorcing, but she believes it and is pursuing a new life and people so we definitely are moving apart by virtue of her running away. Also had the "I think the kids will be happier getting the best of two happy people" speech and the "I know people who are divorced that spend lots of time together for the sake of the kids, even go on holidays together with their new partners included" speech. Hmm.

At least I'm sleeping a bit better again, W hasn't been staying up late or going out all night and then disturbing me when she comes back. Another reason the whole sleeper couch in the study doesn't seem a good idea, she will stay up all night and make a noise, definitely not fair for me. Looks like we will have to tell the kids about the coming divorce soon as well, hard to miss the obviousness of W moving into another room.

Don't know which way W is going next, tired and sad that it always seems to be any way that takes her further away from me.