Thanks everyone for coming back for the update. One thing I have come to learn about my wife, and if I had gotten this years ago there wouldn't have been so much arguing, is that if I just let her vent, let her say what she feels she needs to say, then don't react, 95%+ of it just blows over. The bit of drama earlier today about her not believing me about not getting any money for selling our small investment property a few weeks ago is pretty much gone - as far as I can tell. Here's what happened.
About ten minutes before the kids got out of school, I stopped by my house and was going to walk across the street to see them real quick and give D8 some shoes she left at my house. Right after I got to the house, W shows up in her car and parks behind me. All right......... Since I'm right there, I go up to her car and say hi and ask her when I can arrange to get her Ss10's birthday present (Friday). Then, I go to my car, get the closing statement for the property transaction so she can see it in black and white, and she doesn't even look at it, says it doesn't matter and drops the whole thing. I simply let it go. Then I suggested that she stay there adn I'll walk across and get the kids. She says no, she'll get them, and I tell her that I was looking forward to seeing them for a few minutes, but that OK, just tell them I said hi. I walk into the house, and she drives away. Five minutes later, the kids come running into my house! She had gone to get them, then brought them over to visit me. She stayed in the car and we played for about twenty minutes, then they all left. I made sure to say "thanks" to her before she took off.
Nicola, regarding counseling - we're back next week, and I have already started preparing notes on what to say, and equally important, what not to say. My own internal "shut up".
I had forgotten to mention something that has made me think a lot. Small thing, but.... Last week, W changed her hair color back to what it was when I met her, more of her original color, somewhere between auburn, brown and red. A very nice color on her, and I told her so (for what it's worth I added). When the separation first went down, she changed her hair to blonde, and I never liked it (not that my observation was much of a concern to her). When she had her one-time affair three years ago, she explained to me that she "just wanted to be somebody else, anyone but herself". IMHO, that's what the blonde thing was as well. She's now dressing a bit more "mom-like" (still sexy as hell, though ): ), seems to be interacting and playing with the kids a lot more, from what I hear she's not dating at all and in general, seems more "normal".
I don't have any idea is this is a "comeback" for her, or maybe she is just finally realizing we have to play nice for the sake of the kids. Maybe she's wondering if a reconciliation is a possibility - who knows. One thing I do no; I'm not going to give her any reason to get pissed at me and ruin this. Like Frank says, I just need to be the rock.
Is it too soon to suggest sex???? Kidding - take it easy.
