If it's any consolation, I just can't see that your H is going to cope with OW's 4 children. I have 4 and it gets harder as they get older and they all have different needs and very loud voices. There are quite a few days when if I wasn't their biological mother I think I would walk - I just can't see your H dealing with that and I can't see OW having the patience to deal with the reality of your H on a day to day basis. If nothing else the drinking will drive them apart.
Hang in there Sue
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
