My goal: She's not going to get any pursuit from me, nor any bad attitudes and I'm only going to be friendly and full of smiles.
I think you are doing great! I remember conversations a few months ago where you were simply unable to 'control yourself' and would react to her by saying or do things that pretty much got you in hot water.
Now, you are 'Da Man'.
Do you see that she doesn't trust you right now because YOU allowed HER to cast YOU into the role of adversary by constantly reacting to her craziness?
Whether or not your marriage is 'saved', by continuing to keep doing what's working you'll at least be assured of having less chance of the crazy stuff happening any more. It's YOU who can keep the 'peace' by staying the rock. In the end you and your kids will be better off.
And so will she.
I'm hoping to learn from this myself. If you can 'not react' to her in these circumstances than I can in mine.
