Guys, I could plug myself into your stories with little that would change. We're all in the same boat. We all wish things were different, that we had known then what we know now, etc. Yes, we are facing our responsibility for the demise of our M. That's painful but healthy in the long run, whether we ever get back with W or find someone new. We are using this moment to learn some valuable lessons about ourselves, love, and life. It's easy to lose sight of that growth; I know I have from time to time as I slip back into focusing on the pain, wondering why I didn't see it coming, etc. Well, I see know why I didn't see it coming! That's a positive.
We are all on a path of growth, and we can take great comfort in that. Many never use life's tragedies to grow; they just wallow in misery and wonder what happened. Take heart. We're better people as a result of this. I know I am.
At the same time, we should also look for what our W failed to do too. They cannot see that now; maybe they never will. We cannot control them. Still, in looking at how our W failed, we may learn what we need from them should we reconcile, or what we need from someone new. We also have learned how to articulate those needs. I know I failed to grasp, and thus could not adequately articulate, those needs. I am better at that now, and it's something to continue working on. This is more of a male problem, I feel.
