Not sure what to say, not sure what to do these days. The pendulum just seems to swing back and forth. Not too far in any direction mind you, but swinging non the less. I think in some ways I have just become tired of thinking of this whole mess, and just push it out of my mind and deal with it as it comes, day to day.
Non R wise, my life has become more and more busy. A lot of people have been calling on me for my talents and time. In some ways it is kind of, "well I've got something to do, let me know if you figure your mess out". Don't get me wrong, I do still love my W, however I can see that I have and am doing all I can to turn this around. The next major step is her's. How will she play it out? I don't know.
Occasionally we have had times where we start to talk just like we did in the old days. This goes well till either W or I have to go off and do something. When we come back we're back in the old "trench" again. My mood hadn't changed, but W's did. I usually am not even around to cause the problem.
I feel right now that I'm in a trench where I can't see either end. Will there ever be an end? I hope to find out. Right now I guess we'll just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other till we get somewhere.
