Another new topic! already? Here we go

[LoginName]

Hi Lodo,
Yes I do think the PhD had a big affect. My W even mentioned it a year or so before the bomb. She watched a fellow PhD candidate end up getting a D, and said how the strain was a big reason for it. Funny how she didn't see it in her own M as clearly. My W and I have talked about it a bit, but not much. The MC touched on it, but didn't push it. A PhD is a lot of work and a lot of pressure, and it divides people. They are so "into" their thesis/disertation, and we aren't. It's not a shared interest. And it takes time away from other shared interests.

But, I don't think, in my sitch, it was the main issue. Just like the OM wasn't the real issue. It might have added the extra stress that made all the rest unbearable for my W.

I think the PhD is helping us now. My W feels confident and independant. She's always said she thought I was smarter than she, and she felt a little intimidated. Now, she's the Dr and so has proof she's smart. Her new job builds her self esteem too.

and that's what it was about - her self esteem, her sense of self. So she's happier, now she can work on our M/R again. Yay.

Lodo (are you from Lodo, Denver?), I've seen that Grasshopper has commented on your thread. He is one of my heros. He gave great advice and I base a lot of what I believe on him and on Toughlover's advice. I hope he has time to help you more.

Meanwhile, feel free to highjack. I don't use this much anymore. I'll try to read your story and see if I can give any advice, help, or just support.

Good luck.