Hello to everyone! It's Friday and I'm super excited about that.
neecy- Thanks for stopping by. I've been lurking on your thread, but I don't recall if I've posted. I'll be sure to keep a closer eye on your sitch.
Hi SAFFIE! Thanks for checking in. Hope you're doing well. I'll email soon.
Journaling...... Wow, it's Feb. 29th already! One more month and D3 will be D4. She's been wanting to be 4 for a long time now, but lately she's been wanting me to baby her. She'll tell me that she's not quite 4 yet so I can still do that for her!! Funny little girl! Little does she know.....she'll always be my baby!
Had D3 call H last night to tell him good night. They had a good talk and she made him feel good by asking him to snuggle with her when he got home. We didn't talk and I didn't hear him come home. I must have passed out! He did sleep in our bed last night though. We all woke up early this morning (earlier than normal). D3 begged me to take her to school this morning so I did. She was happy.
Time to back off from H again and concentrate on myself & D3. I'd been trying to do that and then I had my backslide yesterday with the questions about the hotel charge during the summer. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend here and I need to take advantage of that. ................................................................
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Better to backslide (and let them know it), than to bottle it all up. Anycase, that is your money he is spending so you are more than justified in being upset.
He is being immature in the extreme if he thinks making you upset is funny. Hell, sometime these idiots get me so mad! Enjoy the sunshine and build up the excitement for D3.
I smile each time I get on and see you've posted!! Thank you! I hope you're doing well.
With the call to H yesterday, I kind of lost control of myself and literally didn't realize what I'd done right away. Maybe I should have done that months ago when I first suspected him of it, but then you don't want to accuse if nothing is really going on. These WAS's also like to make you feel like you're crazy for thinking that anything is going on.
We will enjoy the sun & warmth. I scraped ice from my windows this morning, so higher temps will be nice. Funny thing....I took D3 to school this morning. I was scraping windows and when I had scraped enough off of hers, I kind of peeked in. She was being silly & making faces at me/laughing. Made my morning.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
These WAS's also like to make you feel like you're crazy for thinking that anything is going on.
My H did that to me. My H used to use the 'laugh it off technique' like I was being silly for thinking he was going to see or had been with OW. I told him I was not stupid. When your spouse is having an A, you learn that there are no coincidences and if things don't seem to add up, it's because they don't.
I hope you and D3 got to enjoy the 'warmer' weather today! She sounds like a cutie pie.
Well, a quiet couple of days. H came home sick on Friday. He worked for a few hours on Sat., but then slept the rest of the day. It hit me yesterday....pretty hard. I was in bed all day and am at home today too. I could/probably should be at work, but just couldn't get myself up today. H took D3 to school and I'm going to pick her up early.
Got a call this morning from OW's H. He said that OW has told him that the end of their M is no longer a matter of if, but when. I told him I was starting to feel that way too. He and OW talk A LOT more than H and I do. OW & her H lived in CA several years ago. OW is from there. Apparently OW & her H have talked about moving the family back there. Not good for me and my family though, as she told her H that there's been talk between her and my H about him moving there if she goes too. She has mentioned to her H that she and my H are planning on living together. If that happens, I will file. I won't wait to see if it end. I can't do that. I know some people have, but I don't think I can. I cried when I heard OW's H talk about CA. I'm not at all surprised that my H would leave us (me and D3) that far behind, but it breaks my heart for D3. She'd be devestated. OW's H asked me if I thought my H would ever actually change and settle down. I don't think he will. I think that after a few months or so of bliss, reality will hit for both of them. Apparently OW is a lot like my H in the spending area too. She spends without regard to what else needs to be paid & has even taken advances on credit cards to pay for things. OW told her H that my H said he will take care of her and he knows that he kids come with her. I don't see how my H can take care of himself, his own child, OW & her 4 kids when he can't keep up on his own bills & take enough time for his own D3. I'm angry and I want reality to hit him very hard.
I cried a lot yesterday too when I was so sick. H didn't ask me if I needed anything & at times didn't even get up to help with D3. All I wanted was someone to care about me. D3 was the only one to do anything like that. How unfair is that to her to have to take care of her mommy?
Well, I'm going to get a shower taken so I can go pick D3 up in about an hour.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Oh Sue.. I'm so you're sick on top of what OW's H shared with you. Take care of you and D3 right now. Especially financially. No matter what happens, you'll always have each other. You both will be heartbroken if you separate, but you know what? You'll heal in time.. both of you will.. and love will come into your life because you are loving, and worthy of being loved. You deserve much more than your H is giving either of you.
Your H and OW are not dealing with reality. Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see. It's easy for them to SAY they're going to pack up and move to CA together, take the kids and live happily ever after. The doing is what's gonna break them. OW's H would agree to her moving their kids to CA? I hope he's documenting things on his end too.
Huggs.. I'm sorry you continue to be hurt by your H. He's definately a clueless individual
I second what Piglet said ... how awful to be sick and get that phone call. How totally inconsiderate of your H not to help you when you were sick, too.
I know you're upset about the possible move to CA, but who knows if that will happen. Others have mentioned that in some states, if both parents don't agree to such a separation that the courts won't allow it. I'm sure OW's H doesn't want his kids to go so far away (unless he fights for custody).
I think if that did happen, reality would come crashing down on him fast. It takes a lot more time and $$ to raise 4 kids than it does 1. The independence and fun lifestyle he wants will be nonexistent.
Interesting that OW has told her H about all these plans, yet you have heard nothing from your H. I'd be thinking about not sharing what you know with him, but using it to protect yourself (i.e. going back to see a lawyer).
I think that after a few months or so of bliss, reality will hit for both of them. Apparently OW is a lot like my H in the spending area too. She spends without regard to what else needs to be paid & has even taken advances on credit cards to pay for things. OW told her H that my H said he will take care of her and he knows that he kids come with her. I don't see how my H can take care of himself, his own child, OW & her 4 kids when he can't keep up on his own bills & take enough time for his own D3. I'm angry and I want reality to hit him very hard.
SueS
The only thing I have to disagree with you about Sue is that I don't think they will have a few months of bliss, I would guess maybe a few days of bliss would be closer to the truth!!! I think they are both delusional. Is that something that all our spouses have in common or what???? Obviously, that situation is NOT going to work out it's a matter of when that sitch will fail, not if. I know at least in our state (maybe in yours too?) it is virtually impossible to leave the state with kids when you divorce, so their plans may not be possible anyway. Karen
