I'm sorry to see you here. I remember you from newcomers. You are the one with the bed hopping husband that cheated repeatedly. I know this is not how you wanted things to turn out, but you did what you could. I personally feel you went above and beyond the call of duty for the sake of the marriage and your kids.
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I feel like I am to blame. maybe i should have said something different or maybe i should have been nicer. I have been kinda standoffish since his most recent affair in October. I just have been afraid to be hurt again. I feel so lost. So hurt. How can he tell people that he is innocent and all he did was push me? He knows what he did- why not just own up to it? He KNOWS what happened- why is he lying
The problem with taking the blame is that it puts 100% of the marriage's failure on your shoulders and that's just not reality. There is maybe a little bit of fantasy in DBing....a perception that if you only change how your act, your spouse will change how they react. It's just not grounded in reality. Your husband has faults that he never even began to touch. When you start getting beat up, it's way past time to call it quits. Don't take any blame for it. As for your husband's lies and lack of remorse....that's the person you married. Hasn't his marriage to you been one long string of lies?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
