It IS simple. Very simple. Just not easy at all. The good part about the simplicity is that there are very few rules for success, and you've hit on them pretty well in your above post. I like to simplify them further to 2 major points that I try to always remember, and I try my best to live by.
The first is The Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference."
The second, when you do feel you have The Wisdom and Courage to make a Change is to follow what I consider the prime directive of DivorceBusting... Essentially (I can't find the quote), it says to always consider your goals before you do anything... If your actions will bring you closer to those goals, then go for it (and if it works, do more of it). If you actions drive you farther from those goals, consider doing something else...
