Help Me Act AS IF, Part 3

[newnamenewlife]

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That said, as much as being told he had to move out killed me, I realized that this is our only chance at getting back together. Between bomb and him moving out, we weren't working on making our relationship better. We were just fighting to keep him from walking out the door that he already had one foot in. H is better with the space and he is able to see the hugeness of the situation.

I can't imagine my H will ever want to get back together. I've been sobbing my heart out since last night--I can't stop. I have had so much loss in my life already and this just feels like too much to bear. I know my H feels horrible about hurting me so much, and once he goes, that will be it. For my own sanity, I think I will need to close the door. He wants me to get past the pain and move on, too--he is not going to come back. The fact that I will have to talk to him and see him regularly for the kids sake is unbearable too. I wish I could just up and move to Greece or somewhere and start over.

I made him tell the kids that it was his decision to move out. I did not want them to think that any fiber of my being was OK with this.

Did your H agree to this? What did he actually say and were you there? My H will not go along with this and I told him I will try to remain composed and will not trash him, but that this is his desire, not mine, and he will have to take responsibility for it. He keeps saying we need to do what's best for the kids and I keep saying what's best for the kids is for him to give our M a real chance before throwing in the towel.

I emailed him today, asking him to please let me have the kids for more than 50 percent of the week. I really feel that he owes me that.