You got it, buddy! Treat your wife as a girl you are interested in, but don't know if you'll "get". If she starts to show interest, remain cool and detached. Let her come to you. If she doesn't, you'll be well equipped to move on to someone who WILL appreciate what you have to offer.
I know, it all sounds simple...it isn't, because you are emotionally invested in this thing. But you have to go through the motions at least. Pursuing will push her away.
