If you love them, set them free...

[smith18]

kturernc and mymonkeybug, I think the next 3 classes should start getting better. We break into groups. I think I will try to determine those who are WAS and those who are LBS.

I wonder what the "Kids Turn" instructors (counselors) have to say about kids living in the house with OM half of the time? I may bring that up as W is in a different classroom.

I am keeping a close eye on the kids and they seem to be doing ok with living 50/50 in two different places.

I always have to see a silver lining to bad situations. Now that my W seems to be accepting a very expensive SUV and is still living in a luxurious lake front home, if she does decide for a D now, she wont be getting any spousal support.

BTW...During the class, I did notice several attractive ladies.

[Lanzo]

Hi Kerry,

I haven't posted on your thread for a long while(In fact you were the first person I offered advice to) cos you seemed to get you act together pretty quickly and have remained solid and consistant in you approach to your W and DB in general. Anyway this little sequence below grabbed my attention especially when W said to the SUV was a loaner, cos I immediately shouted at my computer screen "No Way !!" and I waited with anticipation for your next post.

D5 blurts out that OM bought mommy a really pretty new car.

W says it is just a loaner (rental) from the OM for her BD and it is a new Cadillac SUV (Esplande?).

She came in the big SUV loaner and still does not know whether it belongs to OM

I dropped D5 off at the afterschool teachers house and the teacher mentioned that the Cadillac SUV was a gift from OM to my W

She thinks the gift of the $50K plus SUV by OM is weird because she has not committed herself to him.

One interesting thing she mentioned was that she had thought if she divorced me that she could be with OM until he died from old age (he is almost 68), and then if I was still unattached, possibly get remarried to me. I think she got this idea from her best friend. What a plan!

I know you are very keen for reconsiliation with your W at some stage but all I'd say is make sure you go into it with your eyes wide open, cos this little sequence would have alarm bells ringing in my head.


Lan

[sandi2]

Hi Kerry,

I thought it was about time that I found your thread since our posts seem to end up side-by-side on some other theads.....and we seem to see things alike. You have been very supportive of what I have had to say and I wanted you to know that I appreciated it.

I read your thread tonight. I can understand how a H could reach the place that his heart closes to the love of his life b/c of her complete turn around in her lifestyle, personality, and everything. She does become a completely different person.

I am pulling for you. I hope that you get what you want. I also want your wife to find peace, b/c I know that she is so miserable now. She is confussed and lost and she knows she brought it all upon herself. She has to live with that fact forever.

"Time and Patient" seems to be the motto for all the LBS......but you have to either ride it out or call it quits. I don't see you calling it quits.

I am going to start a new thread under the Piecing forum, so anytime you want to visit, you can find me there. In the meantime, we'll be meeting up on other threads.

Good luck to you.....and please let that knee heal up before you try something else. You men! (lol)

Sandi

[smith18]

Thanks for your perception Lanzo. My W does know and acknowlege that she would not come back for convenience, but because of love. She admits that she does miss me.

I talked on the drive home from skiing today with W's good friend, who also was a betrayed spouse once. She has the same good feeling about our situation and thinks July is a good cutoff date. She said she talked with W this morning and said that W talked a lot about me.

When I got back from skiing today with D5, I was showering and W came home with S7. She walked into the bathroom right when I was toweling of in the buff. I did not try to hide anything and she acted just like normal while she sat down on the toilet just like H and W sharing the bathroom later. Then after putting on some short and laying on my back the bed to rest, W came in and wanted to talk about my ski trip today with D5. I did notice her eyeing me a bit while we talked. Who knows, maybe she is seeing the difference between a fit 47 year old and a flabby 67 year old.

[smith18]

Thanx Sandi, I will check in on the piecing as that is where I utlimately would like to be.

I see my W as a very confused woman right now and I want to give her every chance right now to make the right decision.

[mymonkeybug]

Wow, funny that W walks right in the bathroom while you ar ein the buff like nothign has happened. Glad you didn't spaz and act uncomfortable. She saw you as normal and that I am sure was a big comfort to her. Hell my H when over won't even use our master bath anymore but the kids hall bath which he NEVER did before leaving.

I wish you the best of luck and do forsee a turn around in your future as you keep up the good work.

[cw68]

KerryK, I haven't read through the whole thread yet, but wonder why the teachers are involved with the SUV, who owns it, etc?

Also, I chuckled when you mentioned her sitting on the toilet like nothing. My H was at the house yesterday, I walked by the kids' bathroom and he was on the toilet. He said something to me, then I shut the door and started walking away. He called me back to continue talking! Had to tell him to finish and then find me to talk to me.

[smith18]

KerryK, I haven't read through the whole thread yet, but wonder why the teachers are involved with the SUV, who owns it, etc?

The after school teacher confided in me that W had told her that the SUV was indeed a gift from OM. My W has since told me so, but she does not know if it is in her name.

I had a look at this monster SUV in my driveway last night. It appears to be a real gas guzzler, but very nice on the inside. It even has cameras in the back for when you are backing up.

[cw68]

I'm thinking that involving the teacher in details isn't that good of an idea. They should be concentrating on your children and putting them in the middle will place them in the position of taking sides between the two of you.

[smith18]

Yes, I agree that the teacher should remain neutral and not feel nervous like she did when she told me about what my W had told her.