I really identify with what you are saying about how any long term relationship is going to have parts which are not perfect. After 20 years, patterns and routines are going to be there--some helpful, some maybe not. But I also find myself looking back over the relationship thinking about how things could or need to be different for my W. and I to go ahead and I feel frustrated--it's true that there are some problems, but overwhelmingly my memories are positive ones of laughter, caring, and love.
