Help Me Act AS IF, Part 3

[cw68]

LMG, I so know how you feel; I've been in your exact shoes. The pain is horrible and I wish I could do something to ease it right now.

My husband said the same thing about sharing an apartment and I was like, "No way. You want this, you get this." But then I thought about the kids and had to choose what was easiest on them. Since my husband said that there was a chance at reconciliation (however slim) I figure if we do get back together then we've spared them from having to live in two houses and if we don't then the changes will be more gradual for them. It is definitely hardest on me and H gets the best deal of all.

One benefit of sharing the apartment was that we were able to rent a smaller, cheaper apartment.

That said, as much as being told he had to move out killed me, I realized that this is our only chance at getting back together. Between bomb and him moving out, we weren't working on making our relationship better. We were just fighting to keep him from walking out the door that he already had one foot in. H is better with the space and he is able to see the hugeness of the situation.

I made him tell the kids that it was his decision to move out. I did not want them to think that any fiber of my being was OK with this. Yet we remain very dedicated parents together. Half of me hates him and doesn't understand how he could do this to his kids and then the other half kicks in and realizes how much pain he must be in if he could do this to his kids.

I hate it. I can't say that it still doesn't hurt, but it does get easier to deal with.

It is easier to DB with him not living here. I can turn on and wait to give into my emotions when he's not around.

You're in my thoughts. I was just where you were and wish you everything.