Well, Cookie Chick is my alter ego. She's the girl with the dream of having her own cookie business. She's the one who usually doesn't have the time to do it anymore because Supermom took over. She's the one who just realized that she has every other weekend 'available' and needs to GAL!
So with Easter around the corner, this weekend coming up I am baking my little butt off and I can't wait! I've been having a great time just planning for again. I didn't realize just how badly I needed a focus and now that I've got one I'm starting to feel rejuvinated and inspired again. It feels good!
My thread locked on Friday and I purposely haven't started a new thread until tonight. I made a concious decision not to post this weekend. For one thing it was crazy crazy crazy as it is just me, a 3 yr old and a 4 month old! But also because I needed to step away from the constant analysis of H, of myself and of the sitch in general. I've been reading quite a bit and it feels good to have that focus again too. I love and need the support of these boards. In fact I still checked up on a lot of people's threads over the weekend...I just did it quickly and didn't post. But I need to limit myself because I can get too absorbed in it and I'm realizing that it's hindering my GAL. It's stopping me from moving on with my life. And I don't mean moving on without H and accepting this is the fate of our marriage. But the truth is, I do have to accept the CURRENT circumstances and make the best of them...all the while hoping somewhere in the back of my head that H will snap out of it. Ironically (and obviously) all of that is what I'm supposed to if I'm to attract him back amyway. So it's win / win.
Having said all of those things...tomorrow I meet with my lawyer! I'm trying to look it at from a positive point of view. That knowledge is power and right now I'm just gathering knowledge so I am in a position to make the best possible decisions for ME and for my children. Of course I'm dreading it, but I've got to do it!
D and I had a great weekend. Today she and I hit the mall just the two of us (I left S home with my MOM for an hour). We had fun and it was really great to spend some one on one time with her. I really am blessed with 2 wonderful children and if not for them right now I know I wouldn't be getting out of bed every day. Thank God for them! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
