DR Chapter 10 - Internet Infidelity

[Phoenixdeux]

Hi, I don't know if anyone is still checking this thread, but I'd like to post my situation/story and see what people have to say.

My wife had an internet e-mailing type affair with a person she "met" on a message board for a singer. They started out innocently, but then it became more and more frequent e-mails. I wasn't aware of it, just how much time she spent on the computer. It wasn't just me being ignored, it was her kids too. I nagged her...bad move. I appealed to her sense to spend less time on the internet. I told her about how internet affairs can happen if she spent too much time online and I was worried that would happen. She said she knew it was a problem, she loved me too, and she wasn't a cheater. Turned out she had at least given her heart away to this person. I got an accidental copy of an e-mail she sent this person and it had all this "I'll love you forever" mush, etc. The kicker was the person had a girls e-mail name. My wife believed it was a man (she wanted it to be) because she isn't a lesbian or bi. When I found out I told her to break it off. She did for about a week. During that time she was depressed and moody and told me she didn't love me like she used to and she wanted to separate. Things improved somewhat, but I found out after buying the e-blaster that her happiness was due to continuing to e-mail this person. She couldn't wait to move out so she could talk on the phone to her.

I did e-mail the person. She was a woman (I have since heard her voice on the phone...she's a woman). I told this person she/he was welcome to my wife. I didn't know the kind of person who would toss their marriage away and risk their kids happiness for the sake of someone they never met. I gave the person our home phone number and said call...talk to each other in person, meet. See if you have something in common once you meet in person.

The OW said she was done with this. It was a fantasy. She was straight and would leave my W alone. She has too. My wife is once again in depression and pursuing this person. I've seen the notes, etc. She's called her and left a message. So the obscession is so strong that she just wants to continue what they had, even if nothing comes out of it. Or maybe she isn't considering if she can be a lesbian for this online love. In any regard, she doesn't feel she loves me anymore. She still uses the internet and the musicians website. It seems almost as though she's "trolling" for another potential fish to fill her emotional needs. I can't do it because she rejects me.

She's moving out now. I hope she learns to control this compulsion. She doesn't think she has a problem though. It's just that she hates being with me. Or so she says.