If there is really an internet, cybersex, or sexual addiction going on, ignoring it is the worst possible thing. It's like supplying heroin to a addict heroin or giving alcohol to an alcoholic. It allows them to delude themselves into thinking that everything is okay as long as no none finds out. The sickness thrives on secrecy and only escalates. If infidelity is involved, they would rather expose the unsuspecting spouse to STDs and AIDS than be honest with their partner. Also the behavior could get dangerous if a spouse finds out about the infidelity and becomes vindictive. The sex addict is exposing his/her family to danger.
I'll tell you what I am dealing with now. The psycho OW now claims my husband has been pursuing her all the while we have been going for individual therapy. My husband wants to start couples therapy and claims that she keeps e-mailing him. He claims she keeps pestering him about one last meeting and a "hug" before they part. I told him he was full of crap and if he wants to make this work he has to avoid all contact with her and that means no answering e-mails. Also, he has to start by being honest which he has never been. It's only when I shove the evidence in his face that he owns up to it. The OW just sent me another e-mail that her husband is threatening to come to our house to straighten things out and it won't be "pleasant." In her previous e-mail she said he was divorcing her so why should he care about what anyone does at this point. Also, I brought my daughter home from school yesterday and my neighbor informed me that she called the police because someone was snooping around our house. Is this related to the OW or her husband? Which pathological lier do I believe, my husband or the OW? When do I call the police?
I have been married 20 years and we have two wonderful children that I love very much. I thought I loved my husband but this is a sickness and I won't make myself or my children vulnerable to his problems. Do people ever recover from sexual addictions? Do they fall off the wagon? Help! Lisa
