I'm thinking of you. I'm so sorry to hear about H's car in OW's driveway. I think you handled the texting really, really well. You said what you needed to say but it wasn't accusatory, you were just sharing what you felt and standing up for yourself.
You deserve a man who will bombard you with rosepetals and BAKE YOU cookies and lovingly feed them to you in bed!!
How do you feel about the meeting with the realtor? I am excited you get to watch LOST together... that's one of my favorites too!!
Thanks for the kind responses. I've been feeling a little down lately. I think partly because we are selling the house at a horrible time in the market. Also, I sometimes find myself so lost.
Thursday got the realtors comparative market analysis. definitely will lose money on our house. H and I talked about it and are still going to put it up. He stayed over and we watched LOST. It was nice, we had a good time. H wore his ring and I didn't have the nerve to say anything to him. He also came over on Friday to help me shovel as we got 8 inches of snow. We joked around..threw snow at each other and made snow angels. That was sweet. H wore his ring again..and still didn't have the nerve to say anything.
Weekend was good otherwise. Hung out with my girlfriends for a birthday and saw my parents. It was nice.
Today, I just wanted to come home and relax on the couch. I'll look at everyone elses threads and see what is going on...
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
(((((Beth 83))))) I'm sorry you are feeling down! I hope you get to feeliong better soon! You sound like you need a vacation!
Playing in the snow sounds like it was fun! I think not saying anything about the ring is probablythe right way to go, anyway! It is interesting, and worth noticing, but you don't need to say anything. I am sure he knows you saw it, and if he wasn't wearing it before it was not an accident! Just let it be, though!
It's a long road, stopping at a rest stop long the way seems to me to be a good idea!
Sorry to hear you've been feeling down and lost. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you've been, and wish there was something insightful I could say to help.
Sounds like you and H had a good time last Thursday. How do you feel about him wearing his ring? It sounds positive that he's wearing it regularly- if that's what you want? (I only ask to find out where you stand on the R these days.....?). He appears to be starting to realise what he might have lost.
Oh, and HAPPY (LATE) BIRTHDAY!!
(((Beth)))
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
I am sorry to hear you are feeling "pants". I think it is very normal to feel lost...!!! I think if i had any contact at all I would feel way more lost in my DBing than I am.
It sounds like two really positive interactions with H. Is this way more than usual, or am I just imagining things? If it is more than usual, do you think you might be feeling lost because you are getting to see him and have fun with him, but things are not resolved, so inside it feels like crazy crazy thunderstorm of disappointment-hope-despair-anger-sadness- lonely-where-is-my-h-oh-he'shereonthecouch-but-he's-not"here"??
I know you are frustrated with him wearing the ring, but do you think it could mean something positive, not just that "he doesn't have the nerve to say anything"? I dunno... maybe I am projecting!
FYI, I would give my firstborn child to be able to watch LOST with my B right now. I am SO JEALOUS. !!! Not to mention the snow angels!!
Hang in there, Beth. YOU are going to be OK no matter what.
Is this way more than usual, or am I just imagining things? If it is more than usual, do you think you might be feeling lost because you are getting to see him and have fun with him, but things are not resolved, so inside it feels like crazy crazy thunderstorm of disappointment-hope-despair-anger-sadness- lonely-where-is-my-h-oh-he'shereonthecouch-but-he's-not"here"??
T-Yes, I think that may be it. Sometimes I feel SO OK and then other days I totally DON'T! I actually really think I'm NOT ok. I've been having these dreams lately where I confront H. So, I think that it is my feelings stewing on the inside.
For some reason, I've been crying a lot more lately. So, as an FYI to everyone...when I'm not on the board, I'm doing ok. When I show back up, it is me needing a little vent or help or both.
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
So, this is something I really haven't addressed with anyone yet. Not my family, not even my counselor. I think I haven't mentioned it yet because I've been dealing with the situation at hand..re-caping to family and counselor specific feelings that I had that week, or interactions with H.
But, now that things are starting to quiet down and I've been away from H for some time now, I'm starting to really allow myself to feel something.
A little piece of myself is gone. It feels like it will be gone forever.
Whether I would describe it as innocence, pure love, total trust in a human being, obsessive love... Something. Something is gone forever since H's betrayal of me. I still cry over the loss of that innocence. Of pure oblivousness, total trust that H would love me and never do such a thing to me. I think back about how much I trusted H. I feel like I will never have that again. It's like I've been tainted.
And the thing is, I work in Disability Insurance. I've dealt with people who really have had a rough life and I'm still thankful for the life I have. But, I think about how I view love and trust now and I feel like a little part of me has died.
You guys know I've been doing well. But, this is something I realize is going to take a lot for me to work through.
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
Wow. Just posted on OD's thread that her re-quote of RCR made me feel so much better! YAY!
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
I've been wondering a lot about how you've been doing. I'm glad to see you pop up! And I've been wanting to thank you for posting on my thread about what you've been praying for for your H.
I don't want to minimize what you said at all... but don't be afraid of what you're losing and letting go of. You are finding new things that are even stronger, even more deep and meaningful. One of my closest friends told me, "when you question your faith, it only becomes stronger." I think it's the same with what we're going through, and examining ourselves. But it is still painful, and confusing. It takes a lot of guts to post about this stuff... thank you for opening up about it!!!
Early in the crisis, this same friend also told me that part of the pain I was experiencing wasn't just because of the bomb, but because everything I was letting go as I examined myself post-bomb. That helped me put things in perspective.
Maybe it's just me! Do you think I am blowing hot air, or do you think this may be the case for others too? Hit me with a 2 x 4 if you like!!
I am glad reading RCR's requote made you feel better! I printed that one out and re-read it frequently.
How was your week? Did you get to see H at all? Any more lost-watching?
I think you handled the texting really, really well. You said what you needed to say but it wasn't accusatory, you were just sharing what you felt and standing up for yourself. 
YAY!