MLC came to my house...

[Sandyof5]

Something differant today...

My H picked up my youngest daughter to take her to b'fast ( this is his first contact with her in a week and he has been IN town, no calls..one text but thats it) She had slept at her friends house, so he would be picking her up there. I was informed by my daughter, they would be going to b fast at local coffee shop at end of our street and he would be bringing her home.

Knowing this I really DID NOT want to be anywhere near the house when he stopped by..if he came in and saw me he would verbal vomit on me and I choose to not put myself in that situation. I would hear the same ole story about how I was to blame for everything etc etc etc. And if he just dropped her off and didnt come in and avoided me and the house, it would hurt.Basically it was a no win situation so I made the choice to go to Target next town over and pick up a few things we needed and get that out of the way. My idea was just remove myself from the equation..I'm real big on the whole detaching with love thing..lol

I left for Target not telling anyone where I was going. On drive in car I asked God to just give me SOMETHING? ANYTHING? to tell me I was doing the right thing, a sign to hang on and keep standing no matter how bad it seems...

So Im doing my thing in Target, taking my time, killing time, stalling what ever you want to call it. I'm walking down one of the main aisles pushing my cart along, deep in thought when out of nowhere from behind me comes my H and my D. I was dumbfounded and slightly paniced (inside). This is EXACTLY what I had TRIED to avoid!! So I said a quick prayer to God to "have my back" and I then was immersed into DB ing..big time! No warning just BAM! Time to DB! My H started talking to me like any other time in our 21 yrs of marriage if I hadnt been "living the MLC dream" with him these last 6 mnths I would never had believed it. He chatted about the girls and school work and finances and what he was doing. I just stood, smiled and listened. Was kind,calm and let him guide convo. He then asked me for keys to my car so he could switch our daughters overnight stuff and he could leave to go on his out of town trip (with OW coworker)for the week. I internally freaked as I had left my journal laying on front seat and it is 90% about HIM and if he saw it..YIKES!!! I did NOT want to go out into parking lot with him as I was sure as soon as we were not in a public store and out of range of my D he might start in with his verbal vomit but I had no choice. We left our D in store and stopped by his car to get D's stuff. He then stood and engaged me in a convo about girls and more financial stuff. Again I just stood and listened and didnt say much but was kind and attentive. I didnt ask one question. Just listened.I made sure to keep looking at his face and try to keep eye contact. He then said he had to go, kinda hesitated and said he would let me know this week about one of the financial matters ( something he has never done is said he would contact me) I said a simple "ok" and then a sincere "have a good week". He got in his car and drove off..

....then I cried....just a little as I walked to my car. Pulled myself together and went back into Target to find my daughter.

Ok so for FIRST time in 5 months my H had a convo with me WITHOUT verbal vomit/anger..do I think hes "coming out of it?" Noooo waaaay he is a looooong way from that.

But what it was..Gods way of saying "Sandy hold on. Hold on".

They had no idea I was in Target. They stopped to get a book for my daughter. It was waaay out of his way. If I had seen him coming I would have ducked up another aisle. I did not. I had no "out" no "warning" nothing.

when its in Gods hands...what better place for it to be?

So Sandy is holding on...