Haven't posted this week....because I really stepped back. I took focus off of my H and this mess and enjoyed the kids and their swimming, caught up on some things around the house and worked. Concentrated on healthy eating and walking. It really felt good. It was nice not wondering what he was doing or if he was lying to me....
H and I had very little contact this week until friday. H's birthday. He came by for a little bit yesterday (with lunch) and we spent today together at d12's swim meet. I have to say, for the most part I pulled back today. I really just wanted to be still and absorb the moment for d12.
H did a crossword puzzle and every now and then would ask if I wanted anything. After it was over he asked what we were doing and I told him we were going home. I extended an offer but he told d12 he had some grocery shopping to do. I let it go.
I have to say it was nice not to have to sit with depressed H. He actually seemed happy. Maybe things are working out for him in this new life he has created.
It is weird that H and I usually do the come here go away dance, but right now while I am pulling back....he is staying back. It is nice not doing the dance, but I also wonder what/if anything is changing in this crisis. Well I guess in time God will show me. At least I hope so.
Anyway, H did tell me he had C tomorrow. Maybe he is content with being on his own now. Maybe independence is what he is getting from counseling or perhaps justification (snap rubberband on wrist....don't analize mopsey).
