Well God knows you've learned me a thing or two sweet Lis.
With regards to the children and Mitch and Maxi-pad, it's like this--I have FULLY embraced the concept that a good relationship with him (and by association, her) means 1. Happier children 2. A better relationship with me because they don't have to "hide" their feelings for him (or her) and 3. MUCH better cooperation on his part regarding my welfare and the children's welfare--i.e. he is more inclined to be nice and generous with financial matters.
As for the last thing--he actually told me that when I need a new car (which I do) he would like to help. He said he cannot commit a specific dollar value, but he doesn't want to see me driving the kids around in a clunker. Now of course, he has a history of not doing what he says, so I'll believe it when I see it, but for now I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a sincere offer.
He didn't have to make the offer, but he did and I appreciate it.
As for Maxi pad--I dreamed that I met her last night. In my dream she was very fashionable and wearing the coolest metal skirt with what looked like fish scales. It was very Joan of Arc/mermaid inspired. Anyway, I was terribly jealous in the dream and they seemed very in love. Ah well, it's just fantasy land.
I have not interacted with her, talked to her, met her or emailed her since the VERY beginning when I sent her the "stay away from my husband" email and got her snooty reply. I realize I will have to meet her some day and I am trying to get there emotionally. The children like her and that's okay with me--in fact, it is better this way and I know it. Of course at first I wanted them to hate her and for her to be a wicked witch, but that would make life unhappy for my children and then for me and it would be bad.
So...the reality is, we are single women, we are free. They are not our husbands anymore. I figure any "nice" gestures on their part are above and beyond the call and I will appreciate it. I have lowered my expectations to almost nothing when it comes to him. And as long as it seems he is trying to do his best for the children (within his limited capacity) that is all I can ask for. She has very little to do with my thought process any more. I assume they will be together for the duration and am grateful that she is nice to them.
I am so exhausted. I worked out this morning then took the kids on a nature hike--it was a gorgeous day!
