Your beautiful weather sounds like a glorious reason to spend some time outdoors and take in some fresh air! Yay you!
It's gorgeous here too--supposed to hit 71 today. Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to devote any play time outside. I'll live vicariously through you, okay?
Be good to yourself this weekend, and maybe use the fabulous weather as a reason to shove away any thoughts of anything not positively connected to being a more fabulous you? All this crap can wait until next week, after all.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
the Fabulous me is hurting in places I forgot hurt. THIS from a woman who ran a stinkin' marathon..used to run easily 5 miles a day and teach aerobics...
uhhhh there are these things on the inside of your thighs..called muscles..well mine got a wakeup call Thursday night and evidentally - I have them. OUCH!!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
another day - more realization- this is for me not for him reconciliation ? thoughts of him coming home? I NEED to let it all go and go on with my life. He is gone.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
the "he is gone" is the negative. I need to go on..that is the positive. Jeez' old habits die hard huh?
Imp...this "magical" switch we all want. You know the on/off switch. Did yours do a turn? Do you still hold on to hope? Or have you moved on for you? That is one of hte many things I am struggling with...letting go and hoping in God for His goodness for me.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
I turned my switch off and on about 16,000 times. But at this point, I have been divorced for 7 years so I am very far detached from the emotional aspects of all of this. As for hope, I haven't even given that a thought for some time until you asked. She lives her life and is happy. I live mine (on my own) and am happy. My boys are doing well. And actually, I don't want to have to feed the beast that are her insecurities.
Thank you for you! As I have "gotten to know you" through these boards I have seen much honesty from you and very little bitterness.
The dang switch. You know, I dont think I have even "found" it yet. However, I did decide it is time to find it. That happened on Thursday night with C.
Happiness alludes me right now. I don't mope, I do live...but the deep inner lonliness well I am sure you know it. I am tired of being dead inside.
It is March - a year ago he left. Every month has a memory. Last year it was getting through the memories of what I thought was a happy marriage. This year it is the memories of humiliation-suicide attempts-beer bottle moments -tears shame. GOOD GOD!! I feel like I am on a never ending rollercoaster..yet for the past few weeks I have been on the ride DOWN the hill --- and it hasn't been fun.
Sorry this is such a "lowman" post. Just all this S** is getting to me today. (big surprise!!)
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
I do understand. A year after my bomb, I didn't have "lowman" posts, I had "angry, pissed of MF" posts. But even so, I did always keep telling myself what it is I had to do to move forward with my life. We are humans and can't snap our fingers and wake up in the Garden of Eden.
Hang in there. Things have a way of working out one way or another as long as we allow it.
I sent you a big long email, but when I looked in my sent box it looked like it did not make it.
Let me know..
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to devote any play time outside. I'll live vicariously through you, okay?
Betsey