Sorry you are having an off day. It happens to the best of us. H and I talked today while he was here earlier and I goofed and asked when he was coming home and he reminded me that he isn't and we discussed us and the future in regards to the kids and me and he asked me not to move out of state and he will make sure we are taken care of. He called me HUN which was one of his 2 pet names for me and shared that he is in fact not living with his parents but with friends who are helping him out right now but won't tell me who. He opened the tool box on the back of his truck to get some tie straps out since he was taking out basketball hopp to his parents for the kdis to use while they have their BIG monthly family dinner and what I had suspected I saw to be true, he seems to be living out of it. His duffle bag was in it and shoes and a mountain of dirty laundry. I offered to wash it and have it ready when he brings the kids home but he declined. He probably leaves it for his mom to do once a week and picks it up from his folks house weekly when he comes here to see the kids. He said his friends he is staying with are helping him right now and that he doesn't owe them any money for rent or anything because I did ask him that much. He still insists there isn't anyone else and that would only complicate him right now anyway since he is all about doing for him right now. He seems to really mean it when he says there isn't anyone else so I do have to believe him.
He told me he just doesn't feel it for me anymore like he should as a husband and doesn't think he has for a long time and still feels we were just comfortable and habit for each other...whatever...then he went on to talk about how his life has been an open book and everyone knows who Danny is and what he is about and that he wants new adventures and wants to write some new chapters for himself. Full blown MLC in my opinion. He goes from saying he is so very sure about life in one sentence and that he is never coming home and happy to then saying he doesn't know what he wants to do right now with his life and how life hasn't changed really for him since he left. He is so confused and lost within his own mind and heart.
I too have come closer to God and pray every night for his work to be done within H's heart and for his help in restoration of marriage for us. I told H today that he may have decided we were done but that I WILL NOT give up on him and us, that we committed to each other for life and to our children for life when we made them. He of course had no repsonse other than a little bit of a head shake.
Our spouses are so confused and bewildered about life they can't see the forest through the trees and don't realize yet what they are giving up in order to have this so called better life and new experiences. Humans go through emotional growth periods and physical growth periods and we are always evolving mentally and spiritually. This is just one of those times and we vowed to be there through thick and thin and good and bad. They will appreciate our resolve when they choose to come home to us in a month or 6 or a year or 2. Until my H returns I PROMISE him, myself, God, and my children that I stand for my marriage and it's restoration. I will not stray from that with another man for my H is the only man I vowed to be with for my entire lifetime.
Keep it up Bryan. Come here as you need to, heaven knows I do.
Last edited by mymonkeybug; 03/02/0811:07 PM.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
