Help Me Act AS IF, Part 3

[newnamenewlife]

Well according to my H we were living in different marriages.

We had the family party last night and I could sense my MILs tension. H's cousin, who is also my friend, kept saying (just to me) that he was crazy to let me go. She thinks he has lost his way and will come back.

I am completely paranoid about what H has told his parents. What if he told them about our/my problems in the intimacy dept? That is a mortifying thought. Anyway, I'm glad I emailed my MIL last week and told her where I stand on the whole thing. I know my ILs love me, but they worship H and he can be very convincing, so maybe he's convinced them that he has been living a lie.

I still struggle a lot with sharing my bed with H. He was being cuddly toward me for a while, but that has stopped and I'm scared to touch him now. It's AWFUL. I hate sleeping in the same bed without touching at all. I want to tell him he has to sleep elsewhere if he is going to treat me like I have cooties--but I keep stopping myself, worrying that once he leaves my bed, I've started the leaving-me ball rolling.