yeah ken that ball thing really works.Boy i have some crazy updates!!!Wife came over to give oldest son a ride,friday.Asks sons if we still have wood out back in the garage,because where she is living they ran out of oil for heat??The kids told her we didnt have any.Then asks my youngest if he was still mad at her and he said,yes and she acted surprized.She also wanted to know why nobody tells her anything?Says she talks to the kids all the time,Funny thing is she barely evev speaks to one of them in a week!!I think she is in total denial about this whole thing.She also said she is coming to sons birthday party next sunday.Mother in law,my mother,sons friends will all be here.Can you say awkward!!She acts like everything is fine,normal.Mother in law acts completely confused on this,but I guess we all are.Thats all for now but it seems like this might get crazzier but im going to hang on an ride right through it!!Playing totally "as-if" and im not having hardly any trouble doing that now!!Talk soon Tom
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
Well, get ready for the crazy ride because that is what it is. CRAZY!!!! W will say a lot of things like talking to kids all the time, etc. My ex said the same thing. Your mind will run a thousand scenarios....don't give into them. It will make things worse...of all people...YOU! This whole thing blows and the yes, the worst part of it is the wife...not knowing what is being plotted...the thought process about the marriage and so on and so on. Time to think of things you haven't done in a while and start doing them. Take the kids out to the park...Micky D's for lunch...let them play and enjoy your time with them. Rent movies or make cookies (they have instant packs that even MEN can make and not ruin!!!!)
Whatever it is in her mind....don't worry about it. The in-laws have a scoop of the sitch from both parties I'm guessing. They will side with their own kid. You can't say or do nothing to influence that. I know...I have been there and done that. Don't talk with friends that could possibly get "info" for you either because this will only backfire....been there, done that too.
Concentrate on you and keep up the "As if" attitude. Things will unfold by your actions and what I mean by this is....actions speak louder than words....walk the walk...don't talk the talk.
BTW, the phone call thing with her? Good job....ya handled it perfectly!
Well been doing pretty good with myself,just get nervous every now and then!Then today I get a call at work from the constable seems he has some papers for me for divorce.said he will bring them bye the house tommorow.Boy this kind of blind sided me!!But im holding it together for now.But tommorow will be another story.I dont even know what to do with these papers?This is still moving real fast.Everytime I get a handle on this sitch it blindsides me!!!!Kind of like a snake with three heads.Acctully I starting to get pissed first time I have felt this way so far.Take care everyone
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
DEFINATELY!!!! My WAW told me that she had some papers that I need to provide info for that were from her lawyer and that someone would call asking about some info. I told her that was fine, but that they would get no info from me that they could call my lawyer and get it from her. It was like she was slapped. She started accusing me of being sneaky and trying to screw her over... etc. I just shrugged and told her that anything legal or otherwise was going through my lawyer, end of story.
Protect yourself man. Make sure that she is not trying to get a better life at the expense of your life.
Ken Me: 37 Her: 38 Son: 8 (spina bifida) Son:2 M 6/24/1994 S 1/21/2008 Original Sitch
OK,im totally toast today,every kind of crazy thing has happened today!!Got served divorce papers today!Called wife about tax appointment change.Didnt mention papers,asks if she can borrow money from me for gas and cigs?Am i like totally missing something here,She totally thinks there is absoulotly nothing wrong between me,the kids and her.Can she acctually be this blind to us.I just cant wrap my head around this stuff.Any thoughts out there,really could use them.
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
ok todat W shows up,before I get home from Docs.Asks if i got the papers,told her yes.She said you dont talk about everything anymore!I said you really dont say anthing.Procceded to say She wonders sometimes if shes doing the right thing.Changed subject,kept perfectly as if.She said i guess that you got the papers you dont want me coming around no more.I replied I didnt say thatand also dont be a stranger!She said talking was a big part of the problem,i said i know it was.I told her to call me anytime and talk,no matter what about.It went real good,best yet!
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
She sounds so confused. Dont let her make you confused. Good job on validating that talking was a bit part of the problem. So, it sounds like she wants to talk more. Not a time to go dark in your situation.
I do hope you are going to a lawyer soon.
You have a lot of time. Be patient and dont let bad moments like yesterday get you too down.
Be strong Mike. She does seem like she is very confused. Make sure she does not feel like she is embarrassed or ashamed about this situation. That could create a mental roadblock for her to make any type of turn around. Validate some of the things she is feeling. Make sure she knows you understand. Keep doing things for yourself. BE STRONG!!!
Did you talk to a lawyer? If not, you need to. We are here for you man. Keep moving forward. Things do not seem completely hopeless. She has her doubts. As stated, she seems very confused. Give her time.
Ken Me: 37 Her: 38 Son: 8 (spina bifida) Son:2 M 6/24/1994 S 1/21/2008 Original Sitch
I will talk to a lawyer,wensday.So much going on!Had sons birthday party on sunday W came and everything went real good,she said i looked nice and asked me how i was.I said good.No big talk about anything.Went to get taxes done this mourning,together ,went fine.But i noticed she was wearing OM leather vest,didnt say anything about it.But it definently hurt me seeing it!Try to keep my mind off it.I know i cant do anything about anything.I guess it just threw me.Tough stuff.
Me:42 W:41 Married 22 seperated12-31-07,served papers 2-29-08 S21-S20 partialy disabled S17 Divorce sighed 10-7-08 final 90 days after
