BT - Your thinking may be wrong. I believe that my W and I would not be getting back together if we did not separate. We needed that time to stop the fighting and anger. It gave us the space to truly understand what we wanted in life. I personally believe in your situation if you walk away, things may get better. You 2 should agree to NO contact for 3 months. Nothing. At the end of the 3 months go out to dinner and talk. The anger will be gone. At that point you can make a decision with a clear head.
The reason she is out all the time is because she wants space. Since you are still in the home, she must leave to get that space. So she hangs with friends and hits the bars to avoid being home.
You are not LETTING her do any of the work. If you move out, she will have the space that she will need to come back. You will not be there to take care of the kids so she will have to take care of them. AND SHE WILL!!!
You see, once you move out she no longer has to run away from you and your home. She can calm down and begin focusing on what really matters in life. As long as your remain in the home, she is going to continue to run away. Dude - it's going to get worse.
At first it's a few nights during the week, then it's weekends away, next it will be a week or more. She will leave and come back. This pattern can continue for years!! I know someone who has been in this situation for YEARS!!! The two of you are very much alike.
It's time for you to separate, it's your only chance.
Let it go. Give up control. Let her come back to you.
Like that stupid bullshi* saying..
If you love something, set it free. If it does not come back it was not meant to be.
I hate that kind of [censored] but it does make sense.
Look at my sitch... we separated, filed for divorce, drew up a divorce agreement and now we are getting back together. W just booked us a romantic get away in the Caribbean for 4 days. After our 4 days alone, my daughter and her nanny are meeting us for another 4 days at a family resort.
AMAZING!
WE needed to let go, WE needed space, WE needed time to realize what we wanted from our lives, WE learned that we are in love with each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together.
You are trying to control this situation and it is NOT working. People tell you not to leave the house, but what do they know? Clearly what you are doing is NOT working.
Dude - you know I love ya and we are hear for ya, but you've got to make a move. Man up and do it for your kids. Do you want them to live like this for years??
