Mine was from the opposite direction. The ex was a Supervisor over about 20-25 people in the Lab of a local hospital.
When she left she took a small efficiency apartment in town. It wasn't long before one of her female subordinates was living with her. We may never know the true nature of THAT relationship. She tried to keep it under wraps of course, because the hospital had a rather stringent policy about socializing with subordinates.
New Years Eve 06/07 she backed out of an evening with the boys claiming illness. That night my oldest son saw her in his neighborhood (he was living with a friend) picking up one of her male employees. Seems he had a falling out with his wife and then spent the night with ex and her female roommate. Yep, all three of them in a cozy little 2 room efficiency.
As fate would have it, I drove by the apartment the next morning. I was still in pursuit mode and wanted to see if she had had any company (not knowing yet what son had seen). She spotted me and we wound up having it out verbally. She revealed that she had had TWO overnight guests, both employees. She was deathly afraid that I would report them. The female roommate went so far as to send threatening text messages to me, promising to call the school where I worked and deliver some false charges against me if I reported them.
I never had to report them Sandy. They scrambled in fear for Lord knows how long just over the fact that I KNEW what was going on.
Anyhow, long story just to get to the point of saying that while I can fully appreciate the DESIRE to have someone rat them out, you definitely want to keep yourself out of it.
This stuff almost always comes out in the end. No doubt this will be part of your husband bottoming out at some point, i.e. losing a job, etc.
You do sound very well grounded. Though no matter how well we manage to adjust, it still doesn't take away the pain and hurt in the quiet hours. I wish you peace for those times.
Let him flounder. Remain the solid one and the only remaining adult in your family with integrity.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
