I have surprised myself in my ability to detach. It is nice.
But I often wonder why I have let him go so completely. I ask myself; "did I not love him deeply enough?" But I truly believe I did love him deeply. It's just that I do think love can be destroyed and while there will always be a place in my heart for him, that place does not make me feel heart broken anymore.
I do wonder about my capacity to love again. New guy is really nice, and I do feel something for him, but it's not anywhere near "love." MAybe he's just not the right guy and when it is the right guy, I will feel all the fireworks again.
Or maybe I am just truly changed--a more mature woman who is okay in her own skin. Or maybe being in love with someone who hurt me so badly damaged something in me. I just don't know.
I suppose as life goes on I will understand better the mystery that is me and the mystery that is love.
Oh, and I'll be in Chicago for the miniature show April 4-6. Email me (do you still have my email?) and lets get together if you can.
