"Personally, I think separation is good for these situation. It allows the space and freedom that she thinks that she wants. It also allows her to find out that the grass isn't greener. As long as you live together, she may resent you and believe you are holding her back from her fantasy. However, The big problem with this is that it is hell on the kids."
This is exactly what i am struggling with now. I, in reality should go get my own place but it would take a huge toll on my lovely healthy kids. My beleif is that this is her issue and she should own it not me. I LOVE her and nothing has changed for me. I also LOVE my children and could not imagin a day without them. We have a rhythm in our house, almost a music, that starts in the early morning and lasts all day. This lovely music is now being interupted by a loud, instrument that we did not invited.
My view is she should leave and find what she is looking for. I don't believe it is out there but she does and should go find it if she may. If she stays here with the big house and all the kids issue she will only become madder. I think she should go find a very simple to take care of place so she can chase this dream.
If I leave it will only increase the pressureon her and it will become the kids problem and mine and she will only resent us for it. I am not leaving, she may if she likes. I REALLY believe she is in great pain making this decision. Until she makes this decision we are in a great painful stalemate. She says she has been advised not to leave for she would lose all leaverage. What is she looking for leaverage or freedom?
I am really struggling with this and the fights and convo's are really starting to effect the kids. Last night the boys and I were watching a movie together and I asked them if they missed Mom and they all said "I don't know, it is kinda nice now". I said I miss her very much and my S12 said what do you miss the arguments? From the mouths of babes, the words ring true. Listen closely to what they say.
