So does this mean we're on the mend?

[Michael Mc C]

Had a great time out with my Wife and friends Friday night - old and new friends. After sushi went back to my house and, although we planned on having a total of 6 people, we ended up having an impromptu party (around 14 people in all I think) starting right around midnight. I had a blast, my wife had a blast and I think all of our guests had a blast - hope so anyway, live music is always fun...

However I have once again realized that I can be my own worst enemy. I had quite a few drinks and for some reason found myself becoming angrier and angrier with my wife. She neither said nor did anything to warrant my change of mood so I decided it would be best to remove myself from the rest of the crowd before I said or did anything...

Well, that worked for a while but once I thought I had regained my composure I joined the party again and things went downhill. I ended up making some comments to my wife which upset her, she went to bed and like an idiot I decided to follow her to "hash it out."

In case you're wondering - no, it was not a wise decision. All I succeeded in doing was continuing to say some pretty nasty things to her, mentioning the OM (which we both agreed was considered taboo anymore) and quite frankly making a total ass out of myself... Once I was finished she looked at me and said "You're going to be kicking yourself in the morning for saying these things."

Big label on my head this morning: "Jackass"

So this morning she was not in the happiest of moods, she told her brother (he stayed the night with his girlfriend) that she was hung over and a bit grumpy. I commented that the hangover was because of the drinking and the grumpy was because of my stellar performance. She didn't disagree... I kept a low profile most of the morning because she was right, I was kicking myself.

As the morning went on she warmed up to me again and in fact was very playful when we both happened to be in the bedroom while she was changing. I tackled her onto the bed, rolled her over and kissed her neck. While still holding her I said "I'm sorry you're not feeling well."

She said "I'd be feeling a hell of a lot better if I had heard an apology for last night. But I got nothing, not an 'I'm sorry', not an 'I was mean for no reason', nothing."

I let go of her, looked her in the eyes and apologized. It wasn't a simple "I'm sorry", it was a very descriptive apology telling her exactly what I was apologizing for, giving her an explanation for the nasty comments (but in NO WAY trying to excuse them) and making sure she understood that I knew I had acted intolerable.

She very warmly thanked me for the apology (sucks that she actually had to ask for it though) and the rest of the day was terrific. Tonight we were joking with some friends about how she warned me to calm down and that I simply wouldn't take her advice. She topped it off with "He very wisely chose to sleep on the couch last night".

My wife has turned around and is once again my wife. We may not have everything restored but she is loving and forgiving and understanding. I need to take a step back now and work on my own healing. My comments and actions were, of course, directly related to the nearly 6 months of crap, but still inexcusable. I will destroy any chance we have if I don't get a better grip on things.

I love my Guinness and my tequila but the three of us may need to part company for a little while. There's far too much at stake for me to be doing this.

WE have to come up with a plan to actually get through the rest of this. We're both nervous, uncertain and tired of feeling hurt.