What happened to the man you married? He's checked out, Treese. I'm sorry.
You know, I had trouble with the letting go part, and then...
- I stopped resisting her revisionist history. She can revise her memories if she wants to. I don't need to share them any longer. This is hard because for a long time we shared our lives, and we shared good times and bad, and we shared (mostly) our view of whether something was good or bad, fun or not, invigorating or stupefying. We held hands through life. Now she's let go, and she has a different opinion, not only of what is happening now, but she's revised her opinion and view of what happened before. But I can still keep my memories. I don't need to adopt hers. My memories suit me just fine. She can think what she wants. She can be angry, hollow, distant, and so on. I'm not that person. I don't need to mirror her.
I feel like that was a key realization for me - I don't need to agree with her. For a long time, see, I was a pleaser and fixer, I looked for ways to agree and accomodate. But I don't need to do that now. I don't need to agree with her view. She can wallow in crap and I don't need to join her.
ahhhhh. A liberation.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
