He filed.

[Ophelia]

My long story short:
H left Oct 3 '06. I don't believe he was with anyone before he moved out, but in Jan '07 he said in an email that he was "seeing someone", and they've been together ever since. Turns out she's an old school friend of his, and the daughter of one of MIL's best friends. OW split from her H right after giving birth to their first child, who my H now gets to play daddy to, (we didn't have any kids).

We hadn't seen each other or spoken, (just communicated via email and txt) since Christmas Eve '06, until a few weeks ago when he needed to get our M certificate for a security clearance at his new job, (which involves working with the Air Force), so he came to pick it up. He was here for about an hour and it was all very casual and friendly.

He came back today to drop the M certificate back, and there was more casual chit chat, then just before he left:

H: I know this is awkward, but I've started the D proceedings.
Me: *silence*
H: I'd serve you with the papers myself, but I'm not allowed to, so rather than have a stranger do it, Tony has said he can do it. I just wanted to tell you about it.
Me: Well at least not it won't be a nasty surprise.
H: Well, it'll still be nasty, but yeah, I didn't want it to just be sprung on you. Are you OK?
Me: Not really, but there's not much I can do about it I suppose.
H: I know it's nothing to be proud of.
Me: *mocking cheering* Yay, 30 and divorced!
H: We're not alone in that regard though.
Me: That doesn't make it any better, just means the whole world is sad. So when will it all be official?
H: The hearing is on April 22. You don't have to be there, it's just a formality really. Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to tell you myself.
Me: Thanks.
H: Take care.
Me: Can I get a hug?
H: Of course.

I didn't start crying until right now typing it all out.

At least he wasn't mean about it, and tried to break it to me gently. He still knows it's not what I want. I can only assume he's getting the D now so he'll be free to start a family with and/or M OW.

I don't want to be 30 and D.
I want my H back, but it all just seems impossible now.