Out of the Blue?

[kturnernc]

Well, I don't know if my mind is changing about this separation or I am just getting more detached, but a good portion of the time, I really do not want to talk to her. There is nothing that is good that is being said. She still is accusing me of trying to undermine her postion (paranoia?) and trying to convince me that it is okay to date others. Today was my son's pinewood derby for scouts. I was there the whole time, she showed up a bit late, wandered off, and then left as soon as she could using my youngest as an excuse (he needed a nap). She so obviously did not want to be there.

I still am getting the vibes that she is trying not to think about the past 15 years of our relationship at all. She is trying to push me out of her mind and life. But I think she is coming to the realization that she cannot do that. I will always be there for the kids, no matter what she does. I will do whatever it takes to be there.

So, do I keep going? Do I re-evaluate and call it quits? I really do not know what to do at all. I do know that I love her still. I do know that when I look at a family picture that I have I almost cry. I know it hurts that she has taken down every picture in the house with me in it. So I know that MY embers for her are not cold. They are still very much hot. I do not know what I am trying to say. I am just rambling i guess. I am just confused. I am guessing that it stems from her being that way as well.