that sounds so good about the healthy detachment. It's so funny how we get so caught up in R's that we lose ourselves and the need for our spouses is so great we think we're losing a limb or something if they leave.

On the fear thing, I know exactly what you mean.

I remember a time when after I had a chance to go thru the depression from the bombs, that I was able to reflect on my OWN problems and see what I contributed to the breakdown of the M and I was able to see so clearly, and understood how bad things really were. THEN, after we got back together I started thinking about how there were lots of good things that he had written or said to me before the A, and started loosing that confidence I had about how bad it was and therefore wondering, will I know if a bomb is going to come again???

I agree, that your feelings are natural, especially since he hasn't verbally made a new commitment with you, but I am glad they are just fleeting moments, no real reason to focus on them and dwell on it, and that's probably 1 of the reasons it didn't work the last time.

too bad for chores huh? \:\( would be cool to just have a maid or something!

hope you have lotsa fun on your meetups and stuff

Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."