http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...Post1371375Here is the link to my thread in MLC. It explains why I am here getting a D after all the back and forth with my H. He basically didn't grow and change through this process like I did and he ended up beating the crap out of me Monday night. He still sits in jail and I have no other choice but to D him. If any of you guys here know me then you know my drama. I have been here for about 2 and a half years now and worked so much on myself and basically outgrew my H. he couldn't handle my changes because he couldn't control me anymore. At least that is my take on it.I truly hate this,but Well I have to protect myself and my kids.� If anyone has any question please ask- I was also under a different name for awhile.So I guess I am a newbie here in this group.
Love,Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Welcome, Lisa. I see you've already met the "rowdy" girls!!!
We're here to help any way we can. Glad, for the time being, he's in the slammer and you don't have to worry about him. Want Figgy to break his kneecaps?
Having a rough day already. My H got out of jail yesterday. I have no idea who bonded him out. My sis said she saw him at the store near where we live and he was smiling and acting happy while he was buying cigarettes. He has already beem telling people that all I did was put him down and use him for money- And that all he did to me was push me after I pushed him.Now I know that the police know different and my hospital report shows different but still it hurts that people believe him. Without even looking at evidence.
I haven't filed any divorce paperwork but will need to soon and i am so scared. Part of me wants to make him do it since he is acting like such an ass- and all he has to do is hang out with his buddies and not worry about the kids maybe I should make him get the divorce. instead of me doing everything and him just getting to watch from the sidelines in a recliner. I hate this so much
I feel like I am to blame. maybe i should have said something different or maybe i should have been nicer. I have been kinda standoffish since his most recent affair in October. I just have been afraid to be hurt again. I feel so lost. So hurt. How can he tell people that he is innocent and all he did was push me? He knows what he did- why not just own up to it? He KNOWS what happened- why is he lying?
I am so hurt by that, so hurt
Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
I feel like I am to blame. maybe i should have said something different or maybe i should have been nicer.
It makes my stomach and heart hurt, to know you feel this way.
It makes me want to put a mirror in your face, and sit there with you and convince you over and over again, you are not to blame.
The dynamics here have changed now Lisa. The "MLC Excuse" may no longer be used, when it comes to your H.
For you see, he is an abuser, cheater, liar, and abandoner.
He has taken what is precious the most precious in his life, and CHOSE by his own stupidity, to hurt it in a way, that is NEVER acceptable.
I hate that you allow him to convince you, that you may be at fault in any of this.
You have been thru so much. Giving birth to his child practically on your own, while he was spewing only venom.
Leave him to God, we will see har far in life he gets.
He will forever be lost, and never happy.
What he has done, is the worst any man can do. Strike a woman.
He is a coward, and he is not fit to be in your presence any longer.
So please cry it out, scream at the top of your lungs, call your friends, have them watch your kids.
But please do not disrespect your self any longer in saying that you may have blame.
You are a mother, and a woman. You are not a piece of meat, or trash, that gets hit and discarded.
Value your self.
He is one man, only one. He does not have power over you, or your decisions or your feelings.
You have a long road of healing in front of you, that you WILL do one day at a time.
You get your self into counseling. You pray like you have never prayed before.
You get this D. You protect your self. He has taken so much away from you already. He will not take your self worth, and your ability to make the correct decisions.
You and your children are the priority here.
Let your kids know that no matter what, you are there for them.
Let your kids be proud of the mother that you are. Let them know that no one, will rob your self worth. No one.
Especially a coward.
YOu can do this.
Repeat it to your self everyday.
And if you forget it
we will be here to remind you.
Now. chin up, and do this.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
Please listen to Alison and Lissie. This is not your fault. And it is so very, very bad for your kids to witness the abuse. I know it takes super human energy to deal with the mechancics of the D, even for those of us who only faced ordinary painful MLC antics. But sometimes it is just critical that we do it.
I wouldn't worry about what he is saying to people. What kind of people believe that we have room in our jails for people who just "push" somebody!
