Perhaps I shouldn't have put that out here (that he's unlikely to come home). Remember it's unlikely not impossible. In my case, he truly has some of the earmarks of avoidant personality disorder. This is more than just avoiding conflict. It gets into the way you see yourself and your selfworth.
Even given this, I still wear my ring. At the moment I don't know when or if I'll take it off. I've made my position clear with him (that I don't want this and I will not help with it). I went so far as to say b/c of the promise made before we had kids (that esp once we decided to have kids that we would turn over every rock and seek MC before going down the D road) and that I didn't think we had tried "everything". We definately understand each others position.
We told the girls. D13 was upset and cried. Said it was unfair and that she needed us both. D15, nothing. We tried to get them to talk in general and to get their input on how often and they wanted to sey H and where (here or at his place etc). Again, nothing. He made the comment(they were out of the room) that they would talk when they were ready. I agreed and said that would leave me to handle alot of it b/c he wouldn't be here. That I would fill him in as best I could and that I was angry that he was leaving me with this mess to clean up and deal with.
He would like to leave today (signs lease etc today), but needs some stuff on this computer for another week for work. I told him once he moves out, he's welcome to vistit the girls here, but not spend the night. So this puts a crimp in the next week for him. i said I didn't want him to leave anyway so another week was no big deal in my world.
I was encouraged to have him not visit the girls here, but I don't see that he'll come and pick them up (and either take them out locally or to his place) consistantly and often if that isn't on the table. Honestly, I don't care. I can always leave of find something else to do. I'm more concerned that he's activly involved.
This sucks. I'm still looking at my feet, my face is dirty and I'm not washing it (stuborn little cuss aren't I...).
