Good bye friends

[peaceful_spirit]

Cat,
You're doing great processing your emotions. And you're incorporating positive steps into your life. Good for you.

Just remember, this journey for you will be filled with ups and downs. Savor the ups and accept the downs. It's part of your healing process.

As for your H saying all those things, IMO, he's trying to justify his horrible behavior. I may have said this before, but I do think that's what he's doing. He came back to you in the first place for a reason. However, cutting it off with the high of the A and moving back into the mundane of married life is very, very hard. I know... my H went through it and it was a horrible process.

My point is, your H wasn't strong enough to resist the pull of the A. And again, he betrayed you, as he promised he would not. So, now he is justifying it to himself and you so that he doesn't feel like a bad person.

Of course your M wasn't great before the A. Otherwise the A wouldn't have happened. Most of us are in that position. i know there are things I did in my M before the A that I now know were damaging. But we learn from these things. So, don't beat yourself up for anything you may have done in the "old" R. That is over and you were committed to the "new" R.

All I'm saying is that you put in 150% to fixing your M. Your H tried, but failed. He was to weak. And now he has to live with himself. I guarantee you, that once he "moves on" with OW, he will very soon find himself unhappy. I am sure of that. If it were not so, he wouldn't have left her in the first place.

But in your journey now, that's neither here nor there. You move forward with this D. Go through the process. Plan your life without H. One day, he may wake up... but that is no time soon.

You are doing great. Just remember to give yourself a break. dno't put too much pressure on yourself to feel or act a certain way. You are a strong woman. That doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time.