I want to thank everyone for their kind words and well wishes. My divorce is officially busted. W and I had lunch and dinner today and put the finishing touches on the blueprint of our new marriage. We talked everything through and came to an agreement on all issues.
We are now married again. Rings on, vacations planned and the romance starts on Monday with a nice little get away for two in NYC.
Since we are concerned that we are re-entering the honeymoon phase, I have agreed not to move back into the house until W is 100% comfortable. She is right there. This is a good time for us to put the finishing touches on ourselves and then re-unite for life.
We both agreed that we are much better with each other than without. We also agreed that we have amazing chemistry. Our issues centered around life/work balance, communication, respect and trust. Nothing that could not be easily worked out with a little patience and love.
We both agreed that we are "In love" with each other, that we will both respect the fact that we have lives outside of our marriage and will remain together for life.
W said that she is absolutely amazed in the changes that I have made and knows they are REAL. She basically said... This is the man that I married, I am so happy that you are back! I said the same to her.
Not sure how we fell apart, but we no longer give a sh*t. We are back and better than ever. I cannot tell you how happy I am that I have my partner back. We were always the type of couple that people would envy. We could sit at a restaurant and talk for hours and never get bored.
So that's it, end of story.
Also... I put my daughter to bed at my mom's house tonight. She looked adorable and so content. You could just see her little face and she was very tired. My mom went to give her a kiss and my D looked at her and said "Daddy is coming home." My mom than said, "I know honey and I am so happy for you." Mom than sat on the side of the bed and gently caressed her head. My D had a smile on her face and drifted off to sleep. It is a moment in my life that I will NEVER forget. My D looked so content and loved.
After we left the bedroom, my mom said, "I wonder what she has been thinking over the past 6 months." I said "Mom, I cannot think about that, I know she has been through hell and has really put up a good front through a very difficult time. It's time that we all just move forward."
One more thing....
My W called my father and then my mother to thank them for their support during this very challenging time. She also said, I love your son more than anything, he is an amazing man and I will never forget that his strength kept our family together. She told them not to worry about us, we will be together for life. As difficult as this has been, it was for the best.
A few notes...
* W was not MLC, she was angry that our marriage was ending. * Space was so important during this process. I believe if I did not leave the house we never would have reconciled. We truly needed a time out. * GAL is CRITICAL. Once you starting doing your own thing, your spouse gets re-attracted to you. * Chemistry is key... if you still have those tingly love feelings when you are with your spouse, there is hope. If not, move on, you married the wrong person. * The WAS will only come back when they are ready. * During the ANGER phase, marriage counseling makes things worse! Provides WAS a forum for justify their decision to end marriage. * IT's NEVER OVER!!! We filed for divorce and had an agreement!!! * The kids suffer... no they are not that reslient. They are just suppressing their feelings. They want mom and dad together. It's the way things are supposed to be on their little planet. * Michele Weiner-Davis' Divorce Remedy is the gameplan on saving your marriage. Without her book, counseling from Jody and this web site, my divorce would be final. * DBing really works, but it must be customized for your situation.
