I thought you got some great advice on the "Infidelity" forum, which would also seem to be more the topic of your sitch. Why are you no longer posting there?
Allowing your husband to cake-eat, and being his "bootie call" isn't going to work, as many of us told you. Have you figured out what your own personal boundaries are, and then communicated them to your husband? That, to me, would seem a good place to start.
