I don't know what I'm doing!

[gsr1]

Well, just spoke to H, he's is not coming home tonight because he's with OW, said he went there unexpectedly, didn't mean to lie to me won't lie to me anymore, and won't come home. D birthday this weekend but said thats why coming home tomorrow just won't be home tonight. While speaking to him he got a phone call on other phone apparently she bought him one so they can speak without me knowing, I told him I had a feeling she had bought him one.

I feel so numb right now can't cry can't feel anything, just feel like a stupid fool for having hope and trying my hardest to show him how much he meant to me, this is crazy. Don't know why I can't feel anything, don't know what to do once he finally comes home. He says we have a lot to discuss, knows I don't like to discuss our R over phone, told him not to tell her its me on phone but he will I know he'll tell her, he's told her everything about me, I on the other hand no nothing about her, I don't want to, know enough that she has no morals thats enough for me.

Please tell me do I let him destroy my D's b'day actually we were suppose celebrate both of our D's b'day one turned 27 Wednesday, the other D will be 19 on Sunday. Happy B'day to them, well why not, he dropped bomb about OW on my B'day, 1-8-08. He's got some timing.

What do I do? Help please need some advice.