Dear Where,

Since my bomb I have wondered a lot about the sex thing too. I thought we were totally stellar in the sex dept, but I realized a couple months post-bomb that we were probably in a SSR from his perspective. At times since the bomb and my requisite Darkness I have wished I could use what michele calls the Siren Solution!!!! But it is tricky when we are not communicating because I am dark \:\) Unless I figure out some way to teleport myself into his dreams \:\)

What comes to mind when I think about your situation is a couple different things.

1. listen to your heart... if it feels right, go for it. if it doesn't feel right, wait. don't push.

2. this could contradict the above, but you could try experimenting and monitoring results. Both how you feel about it during/after and how he reacts. If you try it and feel good about it, then you can do it again! If you try it and feel bad about it, then maybe don't do it until something else changes that would make you feel better about it.

but also

3. this could also contradict #2... don't push. Especially don't push to satisfy your own needs. It is not really politically correct to say it like this, but if he needs to distance himself physically, it is OK to respect that and put your own needs on hold in the meantime. Trying to pressure him for sex could just be another form of the pressure we are trying to avoid!! Another form of "dancing outside the castle and throwing rocks".

What do you think about this, where? As you can see, I am not so sure myself... but maybe bouncing these ideas around between ourselves will help clarify them?

Have you been following One Day's thread? She has been reading "the art of seduction" and practicing smoldering glances!!

((((HUGS))))
T