SF- I don't remember all of the details of your sitch, but has he tried to find an "in-between" place before he moves home? Maybe he can stay with friends or family for a bit? Does OW know what's going on with him?
No, there is no place he can stay because he has no money to do so and we have no family he can stay with and he would not stay with anyone else.
I am not sure what OW knows or does not know but I get a sneaky feeling that he could care less and could be waiting for her to get mad enough to say it is over. Just a hunch because he drinks alone even though she is there and he is staying up all night or most of the night.......what kind of person wants that?
Women have intuition and I will bet she knows deep down that her time is up.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
My H was/is a born again christian also. We went to church, our whole extended families are born again christians. He raised his girls to love God and walk with him. he insisted our oldest attend only a Christain University (she is). He is/was so proud of her that she became a leader on campus and has witnessed to others etc etc etc etc.
Then BAM !!! MLC. He wont darken dooor of a church. Has said ( and this is quoting him..I cant make this stuff up) " Noone from the church will support me and what Im doing so I cant go" and " I can do what ever I want all I have to do is ask Gods forgiveness after" (uh huh he said that, to many differant people and we all have walked away scratching our heads on that one)In the earlier days of his MLC my middle daughter asked him if he prays anymore he said " I dont have to pray because I'm 100% sure what I'm doing is right" My poor baby burst into tears..I felt so bad he said that to her and she had to hear it. She knew at that point he was mixed up for sure.
So I too know he is in spiritual warfare. We are praying for him daily and I told him. He doesnt like it. Oh well we just keep on praying. Detach and pray and love from afar.
Oh yeah one more thing..lol
Every since he left I have started a 'wall of hope" in my bedroom. Anytime I come across a scripture verse that speaks to me or poem or saying or story or whatever I write it on a recipe card and tape it to my wall. I ssatnd and read each day while getting dressed ,it just gives me inspiration at any given time. My H went in bedroom a while back to get mail and told my FIL later " I dont like all those verses Sandy put on the wall" My FIL calmly asked "why?" and my H said " because it makes it seem like I left" My FIL said " But you did leave" . No comment from my H. Sigh.
Oh and he said to me about my wall of hope " I dont like the verses on the wall" I asked "why" he said " because it shows girls that everything is gloomy and you must pray for me" I said " the verses on the wall are for me, not them" My H said " well I dont like them". I said nothing. He now refuses to go anywhere near our bedroom, as a matter of fact he wont even come into house.
Spiritual warfare at its finest....
M 44 H 44 M 22 yrs D 20 D 16 D 13 Bomb 1 8/25/07 Bomb 2 9/30/07 Left 10/01/07 OW..yup
Me? I'm scrambling to save my family. My H is just scrambling.
Do you think there is a chance this has already happened and she has already left?
No, it is her place and she is still there. S17 heard her in the background the other night while on the phone with H, and H waits until she goes to bed to talk to me.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Yeah, while in that anger stage they dislike anything pertaining to Christianity.
My H asks me if I would pray for him now.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Didn't talk to H lastnight. That was the first time all week I think I have not tallked or texted him all week!
I did talk to him a few times during the day though so no biggie.
He'll be over today and I look forward to seeing him.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Oh and he said to me about my wall of hope " I dont like the verses on the wall" I asked "why" he said " because it shows girls that everything is gloomy and you must pray for me" I said " the verses on the wall are for me, not them" My H said " well I dont like them". I said nothing. He now refuses to go anywhere near our bedroom, as a matter of fact he wont even come into house
Sometimes I feel Satan takes a weak moment in a persons life to disrupt a family. The outcome of a divorce does so more damage to a childs sole than one can imagine.
I prayed my way through an MLC. My mom past away which forced me to look over my life. At that time I was hurt and angry at God. Creating the opportunity for evil to enter my life. I searched and prayed every prayer I could. I too stayed away from scriptures. There was too much guilt and condemnation for me to handle. Fortune cookies became my bible.
Try handling your H a fotune cookie and hope for the best. If you want to stack the odds in your favor put in your own. Before giving it to him you could preface it by saying how its just a novelty desert. This way everytime he opens one it's left to his interpretation.
SF - So sorry about the hijack. I was only checking to see how you were doing.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
He sat on the patio all the time, did not want food, said he had a nervous stomach. Then when he left I walked him out and I asked if he was okay and he said he was very nervous and I said I was sorry to hear that and then he closed the door abruptly.
I pretty much just let him be. We did sit outside together and it was very quiet but a nice night sitting under the stars.
The tire rim will not be in until Wednesday or Thursday and at that time, they will also put the new tire on. I asked him if they were going to call me when it came in and he said no, the place is going to call HIM. I was thinking, gee, they are calling him instead of me but then I thought, heck, let him handle all of this.
He did say not to drive on that spare because it is dangerous. He also said he would take G16 to church tomorrow night and pick her up.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I thought he would not based on his mood of being very nervous.
It is just a very generic conversation and some I miss you's but still, I am surprised.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
