Meredith..your 5 years continuned.

[Underdog]

Hi ladies and IMP (couldn't lump him in with the former),

Really doing the work in C at this stage is really difficult, isn't it? Sounds like your C is a good influence on your thinking and I hope you're able to continue with him/her for as long as you feel you need it. I'm a believer in the power of help, especially when we're ready to do something different.

Oh boy, I can relate to the difficulty you have in burying a dream and creating new ones. Cagz, this is a valuable lesson to learn anyway--life is FULL of events beyond your control that require you do be willing to do this. I had to do this when we got a diagnosis on my D11 at the age of 3. It was devastating, more than I could ever share, but by the time that XH and I separated, it wasn't as difficult a chore to do as it was the first time I was forced to do it. Sounds like you're a praying woman... keep at it. You probably won't be surprised at the messages you will receive when you're really tuned into His plan instead of yours.

I have a question for you, and maybe you've answered it in previous threads... how are you going to be able to do the complete non-contact thing with a D11 in the picture? Does he not interact with her at all? How do you make decisions about her with him disappearing for 3 weeks? (I hope this doesn't come across as a judgment--it's not meant to be that, but a question of your parenting arrangements.)

C, I love the idea of creating a new dream. My only suggestion is to be patient and flexible as you heal. Dreams usually take on a flair for the wonderful when you're in a better place emotionally. But start thinking about who you want to be and where you want to be and just maybe you'll realize things about yourself that you had ignored or not even realized.

Pam, I'm glad to read that you're in a better place today. I remember feeling oddly light the day after the D. It was surreal and I still remember thinking the same things as you did. (I'm alive and look at me now!) I still find it hard to believe that it will be 3 years for me in May. Dippy Do and I are in a much better place now than we were back then. Life is sure stranger than fiction.

Hope you all have a terrific weekend!

Betsey