Frank is not exploring other women..nor exploring possiblities. He is looking for cues...cues of normalcy. Frank is trying to revisit the man he was when he was strong and happy and with where he was in life...what he is doing...he is trying to reanalyze 'where he once was'. So..he is doing that with with old friends. He wants to know why he was happy then...and not now...CUES. Sometimes, talking with 'normal' people outside of your M can help you to see things that you can't when you are totally invested in this difficult time.
This is a pretty concise explanation. I'm not looking to 'go back' to anything. I want to know what I have been missing so I know how to go about reclaiming it.
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Oddly you come to a point where you really start to analyze whether you are in a healthy M or not...or clutching to hold onto 'the status quo' out of fear and desire for stability.
Yes. And I'm not in a healthy marriage. Two unhealthy people together. One who keeps running away.
Originally Posted By: Bworl
Personally think you're pretty spot on with your wife and how she has bailed when times were not right, or when you were not carrying the load properly.
She'll either have a reality moment or she won't Frank. Seems like that's always the case with these sad stories. BND didn't do anything special with her husband except leave him alone to chase his "dreams." ImLin let her husband run off, basically bankrupt himself, and drink his self into oblivion. Theirs came back. The guys were done I guess, and their spouses were still around. It CAN work out.
Maybe your wife will find out what life without Frank is really like.
At some point she will find out if she continues her 'plan'. By now she is feeling what it's like to not get any support from me any more, and to only talk to me for brief periods. She has withdrawn for the most part and we don't interact much. So I can only conclude she doesn't care any more.
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I'm glad you had the chance to remember what a real supportive family felt like. I think you do have that with your girls. Hope you'll make SURE that you have that with your girls.
I will, but they are children and what I've been missing is 'adult' support. I get some from my friends I call now, and I'll eventually make local friends I can hang out with.
