MIDLIFE CRISIS- from Michele plus RESOURCE THREADS

[ba065]

I am "acting as if" constantly. It seems to be helping in my sitch...but inside, I still feel extremely hurt and betrayed. I still cry myself to sleep most nights.

I know my MLC H is lost...I know he's still figuring things out...I know he still sees MOW and talks to her on the phone almost constantly. I know he still lies to me.

But, he also treats me with respect, he says ILY, he'll hug and kiss me and buys me nice things. We're spending more time together, doing things he enjoys...and I'm beginning to enjoy....like road biking. I guess these are all considered baby steps....but inside of me, I feel like he has a hidden agenda and he's making plans with MOW to eventually leave. I just can't get past that part...maybe it's all in my head, but a woman's intuition can be right on the mark too!

I'm praying for the strength to stand, for help and guidance. I'm praying for H to find his way...to be happy again....

Having enought patience is hard....waiting is hard....wanting the final results but not always seeing the tiny steps towards them....????

Just tired, emotional and acting as if I love my life right now.

BA